Living in the Silence
by Praetor of Rome
Summary: The story of an out of place girl who found she could in fact make a friend, a teenager with a tendency to get lost in her own head, and Katie Gardner's biggest "what-if". Written for PJO Ship Weeks.


**Happy Free Ship Week! Yes, Katie and Lee is a very obscure non-canon ship, but that's what Free Week is for! I'm still not sure where this story went and what it's really about, but hopefully you'll like it. **

**Disclaimer:** **The world and characters belong to Rick Riordan. **

**Dedication:** **To Tumblr users louellenthenosestealer, kaylathequeen, and theoneandonlymirandagardiner (aka generally awesome people and the other members of this ship who tolerate my rambling about it and saw the original version of this story). And yes, a bunch of the headcanons for Lou/Kayla/Miranda in this story belong to you guys. **

**Living in the Silence**

* * *

**First Summer**

Katie Gardner was quiet on the way to Long Island.

Her dad drove, and occasionally he glanced back at her and opened his mouth, but she pointedly stared out the window. Rachel had stayed at home with Hannah, and Katie had heard the whispered not-quite-arguments between her dad and her stepmom after the attack six days ago.

She rubbed her arm, where the pink scar still stung. The scrape of a claw, but it could've been worse. That – that monster had been injured, so she'd had a chance to hide, to get away. Thank God she'd always been good at climbing trees.

She crossed her arms over her chest, closing her eyes. Her dad wouldn't even _say _what this camp was, why the wolf-creature had attacked her, why it even existed. She'd never been a TV person, but she felt like one of those unnamed victims from one of the new popular horror shows her classmates chatted about. The little girl caught in a world of demons and torn apart by them.

Shifting on the seat again, she returned to staring out the window.

* * *

"Child of the Greek gods," the orientation film said.

"Undetermined," one of the counselors said, and she found herself in a sweaty, crowded cabin where she couldn't hear herself think.

* * *

First day.

Crickets in her socks. Mayonnaise in her pillowcase.

Naturally, pranksters couldn't resist boasting, so she found out exactly who she had to loathe – Travis and Connor Stoll.

Apparently they weren't twins, but she didn't care. They were both near enough to her age that they'd made her a personal target.

* * *

Second day.

All of her left shoes missing (three). Shoved into the lake during canoeing.

She swore she wouldn't cry, but that didn't stop her from screaming at the good-for-nothing boys. The blonde girl with the accent – Lou Ellen – let her borrow a fresh pair of clothes. Katie mumbled a thanks and started planning how she'd run away.

* * *

Third day.

She crouched on the lower branches of a tree near the forest, with the light morning mist clinging to her skin, her thoughts drowning out everything else. Playing in her mind over and over - Dad and Rachel giving her sideways looks, their harsh whispers when they thought she couldn't hear, Hannah suddenly having friends' houses to go to all the time.

Couldn't sleep. Didn't want to sleep. It had finally been too long that she'd given up and figured it was technically morning so that harpies probably wouldn't eat her (she was skeptical anyways, but she wanted to play it safe).

"You dropped your shoes."

Startled, she twisted – her hand slipping from the branch above, oh no –

Katie spun her arms for a moment before clutching the tree trunk and glaring at the boy who dared surprise her when she was trying to avoid people.

"Did you ever think maybe I left them down there for a reason?" she snapped. "Honestly, who climbs trees wearing _shoes_?"

He shrugged. "Sorry. I don't really climb much. And there isn't usually anyone else out here." He studied her intently for a moment before asking, "Are you new?"

Katie leaned back against the trunk, glaring at him.

"Why do you ask?"

"Camp's a little freaky the first time you get here." He shrugged again before sitting down, leaning up against the trunk.

"You're just going to hang out here?" Katie peered down at him.

"I can go somewhere else if you want. The edge of the forest is a good place to watch the sun come up from over Half-Blood Hill." He pointed to where the earth rose up and a pink glow was spreading across the sky.

"Seriously? You come out here to watch the sunrise?"

"Well-" From her perch on the branch she could see him raise his hands defensively. "It's quiet, peaceful, and…" he hesitated. "Kind of makes me feel closer to Dad. That might be weird - "

"Closer to your dad?"

"Apollo. God of the sun, music, poetry - a whole bunch, actually." He stretched, reaching his arms above his head.

Sighing, Katie crouched and jumped to the ground. The boy handed her her sandals.

"I'm Lee. Lee Fletcher."

She crossed her arms and muttered, "Katie."

"What?"

"What do you mean, what?"

"You're being pretty snappy with me, you know?"

Cue the glare.

Lee sighed. "What's bugging you?"

She swallowed. "Hermes cabin."

"Ah. Undetermined?"

"Yeah."

"Pranked?"

"…yes."

He patted the little spot of grass next to him.

"Sounds like you need a little peace and relaxation."

* * *

"Glad to move out of Eleven?" Lee smiled as he handed her an ice cream cone.

"Gods, yes. And thanks," she added, inclining her head towards the cone.

"Sure."

They sat on one of the benches just outside the cluster of cabins, so they wouldn't get in the way of an intense game of tag a few of the campers had set up.

Demeter, goddess of harvest. It still just felt like a cabin change, not like this woman was her _mom. _Why hadn't her dad told her?

Katie licked the ice cream - scoop of strawberry, scoop of vanilla - and blinked quickly to fend off the tears that were started to sting her eyes. It was all too much, too soon. She didn't belong here.

"Beautiful day." Lee stretched out his legs, looking up at the puffy white clouds.

"Mmm."

He glanced over at her for a moment before saying, "Tomorrow you'll be waking up in a new cabin, with a whole lot of new adventures waiting for you."

"I don't think I'm the adventure type."

"You didn't like Hermes cabin, but this is a fresh start. A whole new day is coming." He gestured a little too wildly, almost causing his ice cream cone to tip over.

Katie snorted.

"Hey, there's a reason I go out and watch the sun come up." Lee smiled, licking his own chocolate cone.

* * *

First day.

An actual bunk. Clean, sweet-smelling sheets. Flowers bursting outside, flowers that shouldn't have been blooming at the same time.

"Hey!" A brunette maybe a little younger than her poked her head out of the cabin door, smiling brightly. "You're Katie, right?"

"Um, yes. And you are…?"

"Miranda," she grinned. "Nice to meet you. And don't worry, you'll fit right in here."

"Thanks?"

Miranda turned into the cabin and shouted, "Amiya! She's here!"

Another girl hurried into the doorframe. Katie had seen her around camp a little – the new head counselor for Demeter. She looked possibly Indian, or Mexican; Katie couldn't really tell – with dark hair, dark eyes, and a confident aura.

"Welcome to Cabin Four," Amiya said and proceeded to give her a brief tour.

* * *

"See! _See!_"

"Gods, shut up." Katie rolled her eyes. "Liking Demeter cabin more than Hermes isn't saying much."

Lee raised his eyebrows.

"Fine. Amiya's – great, actually. I mean, I can talk to her. And Miranda's fun to hang out with."

"Aha!"

She shoved his shoulder, and he flopped back on the sand, wiggling his toes so they just dipped into the sound.

"You should come over to Apollo one of these days. We're a fun bunch."

"That sounds concerning."

"Maybe. But a group of pre-teen and teenage boys who can sing and write poetry? What could be better? Although don't let Will near your toothpaste."

"Really?" she groaned. "Did you not get that I don't like hanging out with pranksters?"

"But you're adjusting to camp now, and pranking is practically a lifestyle choice here. At the very least, it's time to get used to it."

"Never."

* * *

Miranda dragged her over to introduce her to a friend from Hermes. Katie was less than enthusiastic, but when she saw it was Lou Ellen meeting them near the climbing wall, she was a little more okay with it.

They headed over to the lake and sat with their feet dangling in the water.

"Lou's a daughter of Hecate," Miranda explained. "But there's no cabin for her, so she stays in Hermes."

"Sorry," Katie said.

"'S not so bad," Lou laughed. "Some o' me best mates are in there."

"Seriously?" Katie crossed her arms. Hermes kids were the bane of her existence. Lou must've figured the direction of her thoughts because she nodded and said,

"Ay. Conn Conn and Trav aren't so bad once you ge' used to em."

"The Stolls!"

"Kates! Open mind, now." Miranda attempted a stern tone and failed miserably.

They cracked up, and after another hour Katie decided that she liked Lou Ellen.

* * *

"We'll miss you." Amiya hugged her, and Katie waved as she walked out of the cabin. Miranda was waiting outside and grabbed her hand. They headed to the top of the hill together, arms swinging.

"Hey! You weren't gonna come by to say goodbye?"

Lee Fletcher was marching up the hill, trying not to grin.

"Goodbye?" She bit her lip, looking down at her toes. "You're not leaving?"

"Year-rounder."

Katie turned to Miranda. "Seriously, why am I friends with all the year-rounders?"

She shrugged. "Maybe it means it's your destiny to become one, too."

"Thanks, but no thanks," she laughed, although a little uneasily. Sure, she wanted to get back to her normal life. But was it really normal if none of her family members were comfortable talking to her?

"Well, until next summer." He waved.

"Bye, Lee."

Miranda walked her to the road and then ran back up to the top of the hill to watch the car drive off.

* * *

**Second Summer**

Her first day back Lou Ellen and Miranda talked her into a canoe race. Somehow they all ended up dripping wet, with Chiron shaking his head.

The weather was getting weird, though, and Lou called an emergency ice cream meeting behind the cabins since everyone was getting a little nervous. It consisted of Lou, Katie, Miranda, Connor, and Travis – Lou had dubbed them the "Flawless Five", although Katie figured she'd never get along with the Stolls after all the pranks they'd pulled against Demeter. (But it meant Lou was playing peacemaker, and _that _was hilarious enough to make Katie agree to hang out with the pranksters.)

Katie argued that pistachio was _too_ a great ice cream flavor, and after a nearly-averted food fight the meeting was adjourned.

* * *

Hellhound during Capture the Flag.

The new camper claimed as a child of Poseidon.

* * *

"Has anything like this happened before?" she asked.

Lee shook his head. "Not since I've been here."

"Right." She swallowed. "Okay."

Silence.

"Race you to the top of the tree?" he suggested

"You don't climb trees," she said.

"No time like the present!" Lee exclaimed, and Katie snorted.

* * *

She did visit Apollo cabin, who had finally gotten a female camper. Katie said hi to Kayla and tried to remember which of the boys was which. Will was the tall one? Michael was the grumpy one who had just woken up? Andrew was oldest, and Austin the youngest…

"How do you deal with this many brothers?" Katie whispered to Kayla. Lee looked offended, but Kayla laughed.

* * *

_There might be war. _

The rumor kept circling camp.

It rained when it wasn't supposed to.

* * *

"Well, we survived another year." Miranda flopped on the bed, kicking off her flip flops.

"Kind of a close one," Katie said. "Zeus's master bolt stolen. Almost World War Three."

But for the first time, she couldn't imagine going back to Delaware – to a stepsister who looked at her like she had three heads and a dad who danced hesitantly around any mentions of demigod life.

Almost World War Three was better when she had best friends by her side.

* * *

"Kayla said you're staying this year?"

"I am," Katie nodded, brushing off her hands and turning to smile at him. She hadn't seen Lee as much this summer. Miranda and Lou Ellen were always trying to come up with something fun (and occasionally just a little against the rules) to do. Lou was still trying to make peace between her and the Stoll brothers, but after they spray painted part of the Demeter cabin, Katie didn't see that happening anytime soon. (Amiya was plotting payback via Capture the Flag.) "You are, right?"

"Actually, no." He slipped his hands in his pockets, and Katie frowned.

"Mom wants me to try coming home. I think she just wants to have me around again, even if it's a little dangerous. With everything going on…" he trailed off.

"Oh. Um, yeah, that makes sense." She stood, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I'll try to write. Probably won't be able to call, cause-"

"Technology being bad for demigods. I got it." She took a deep breath. "Apollo cabin'll miss you. I think they've got you pegged for next head counselor."

"They'll have plenty of people to hang out with. It'll be something new, I guess. I'll get to see my family. Fresh start, sort of."

Katie smiled. "Like a sunrise?" she said, her tone teasing.

He looked startled for a moment, and she felt her face flush.

"Never mind," Katie muttered and crouched back down, patting the earth around the new flowers.

"See you next summer then."

She dug her nails into the dirt. "See you."

* * *

**Third Summer**

Katie sat at the edge of the strawberry fields, letting a cool breeze wash over her. She leaned back on her elbows. With her eyes closed she could image plump red strawberries, strong, healthy green fields. But in reality – all her daughter-of-Demeter powers (and they weren't much) couldn't restore the strawberry plants to their former glory.

Not when the valley was dying.

* * *

"Lee!"

"Hey, Katie."

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw you heading off past the woods! There's monsters around here, you know." He sat down next to her in the sand.

"I don't need someone to check on me," Katie snapped, turning to stare out at the sound.

"You saw the damage the Colchis bulls did," he said quietly.

She whirled back around. "Quit bugging me! You're just like the Stoll brothers!"

"I didn't -," he swallowed, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Katie hugged her knees to her chest.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..to." She closed her eyes. "What if it's not safe here anymore?"

He was quiet for a moment before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"We'll figure it out. Camp Half-Blood'll always survive."

They sat there for nearly a half hour, watching the water and digging their toes into the sand. Lee broke the silence by saying that their cabins might be looking for them. As they walked back, he suggested that maybe she come by the range tomorrow for some extra archery practice.

* * *

"Show off," Katie called as another one of his arrows hit the bulls-eye.

"Hey, you're not half-bad at archery!"

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" She raised her eyebrows.

He laughed, twirling an arrow between his fingers, but she could have sworn that his face was turning a little red.

Lee cleared his throat. "Anyways… my sources tell me that - "

"Hang on - your sources?"

"Cabin counselor secrets," he grinned.

"Lee Fletcher, you are not going to be one of those snobby head counselors." Katie crossed her arms. She knew he'd been hoping for the position as soon as Andrew announced he'd be handing off the reins this summer, but there was no need to flaunt .

"Okay, okay, let's say I heard from a friend of a friend. Demeter's made an alliance with Athena?"

She shrugged. "I don't follow alliances."

"That's a blatant lie, Katie Gardner. You're Amiya's second in command, 'course you do. Especially when Demeter's holding the laurels."

She bit back a smile. (He was right, of course. Plus it was the first time in ages Demeter had come out on top.)

"Your point?"

"How much to join the alliance?"

"Well, you'd have to take that up with Amiya. As I recall, Apollo didn't exactly get the best shower privileges from inspection."

Lee pretended to look offended, and Katie laughed.

For the remainder of the archery practice he threw out more and more outrageous offers, and Katie eventually gave up trying to shoot because she was cracking up too much.

Only later did she realize that for an hour or so, she hadn't been worrying about the safety of the camp.

* * *

"I don't know." Katie twirled a blade of grass around her finger.

"Family trouble?"Amiya asked.

"No. It – I used to be having trouble, yes. But Hannah – my stepsister – and I've been writing each other. And I've IMed my dad a lot." She paused. "Or as much as I could without going broke."

She glanced down at her feet.

"Training here, friends here, peace at home, family at home-" Katie brushed a strand of hair over her shoulder.

Amiya wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Whatever you decide or don't decide… I'm here if you need to talk."

* * *

"Lee asked you to the fireworks?"

"Kayla."

"Like seriously, _finally_, asked you?"

"Kayla!"

"Oh, not dropping this, nope." She rested her chin in her hands, smirking.

Katie threw a pillow at her.

"We _mutually agreed _to go to the fireworks together because we haven't had the chance to hang out as much this summer."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Kayla. If you don't shut up, I'll tell Will who let slip about his teddy bear."

Kayla shut up.

* * *

Border patrol. Activities. Capture the Flag. Border patrol.

Sleep, if she could manage it. If she could shut off the thoughts always whirling through her head.

She decided if she made it through the summer, she was going back to Delaware.

* * *

"One of these days we won't get so lucky," Katie told Lee as they watched the Golden Fleece placed around Thalia's pine.

"Pessimist," he shot back.

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

**Fourth Summer**

_An endless maze. _

_War is coming._

* * *

"How are you doing?" Katie asked.

"Alright," Lee rubbed his face. "Just a little startled, that's all. Not every day you see a drakon."

"You did a good job," she smiled softly. "Even if you were scared."

"I just - these monsters are huge, Katie. What if one of them gets in?"

Her stomach clenched, and she took a deep breath.

"I know. But Camp Half-Blood will always survive, remember?" He looked down, and Katie crossed her arms. "Hey. You're a great counselor, a great leader. You did what you could to protect us, that's all anyone can ask. And if something does come to attack us, it'll be faced with all of us. No one will be doing any fighting on their own."

She caught her breath. Funny, everything she had just said sounded like something Lee would say.

He noticed, too, raising his head and smiling.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who can give a good pep talk."

Katie rolled her eyes and waved her hand. "Come on. They've just gotten more pistachio ice cream."

* * *

No. Gods, no. It had been a long time since she had run to the edge of the woods this early, having been wide awake most of the night.

Miranda was asleep, thank the gods, because Katie didn't want to talk to her. Yes, she was one of her best friends, but right now Mira was Katie's little sister, part of the cabin she had to put up a strong face for.

Katie thought she'd done alright, running the cabin through the rest of their activities, calling lights out, talking gently to the couple of little ones.

Where in Hades name was Amiya?

She should have noticed sooner, should have realized that something was very, very wrong when she wasn't at climbing wall.

Katie had brushed it off - stupid, _stupid. _

Maybe when the sun came up she'd try to find Lou Ellen, but Katie didn't think she'd be able to talk to her either. Lou would see right through her, and she _couldn't - _

"Katie?"

The voice came when she was halfway up to the lowest branch. She reluctantly dropped back to the ground.

"You haven't been out here in ages! I - "

And then he saw her face and hugged her.

Katie was momentarily surprised, but she realized, this was how it always had been - even if they hadn't seen each other in a while, they would always be friends. It was one of those unspoken things.

"Come on." He took her hand and led her to one of the trees, where they sat and watched the orange and pink colors streak across the sky.

"Every morning? You still come out here?" she asked.

"Still kind of reminds me of dad. But it also reminds me that something is always beginning." He didn't add, _even when it seems like everything's ending. _

A memory flitted to the front of her mind - a memory that wasn't always on the surface, but was always with her. "That's kind of what you said to me after I'd been claimed," she whispered.

"That's kind of what you said to me when I was going home for a year," he smiled.

"And now you're going to tell me that this is a new adventure," she muttered.

"Adventure isn't the word I'd use." He paused. "But just because Amiya's missing - "

Katie sat up. "You said missing."

"And…?"

"Everyone else says she left, she ran off."

He shrugged. "There's no proof of that. She was a good counselor. It's better not to think the worst of people."

"But then where is she?" Katie dropped her head onto her knees.

Lee squeezed her hand.

"Whatever happens…" He took a deep breath. "Like you said to me - you don't have to do everything on your own." His voice dropped, and Katie didn't think she was meant to hear the last sentence. "Someday I hope you'll learn that."

* * *

Breathe.

_This wasn't a monster fight, this was battle, this could mean their deaths, and Kronos was out there – _

Breathe.

She straightened Miranda's armor and hugged Lou before she ran off to find the rest of the Hermes cabin. Katie wasn't the best fighter, the most powerful child of Demeter. She wasn't even the oldest in her cabin (Cadence had just never wanted to be a cabin leader). But she could sure as hell get them through this fight together. There wasn't another option.

Katie had been so busy coordinating her cabin (often running back and forth to the Athena tent) that the one time she'd swung by Cabin Six only Kayla was there.

"I'll tell Lee you stopped by," she said.

Focus. Her muscles tensed as the final defenses were readied. She'd find him after the battle. _If camp was still standing_.

* * *

…

…

…

"I'm sorry."

…

…

…

* * *

"Katie - "

"Mira, not now."

"You can't just ask me to go away!"

"Yes I can!" she snapped, whirling around. Her breath caught when she saw Miranda's face, and Katie shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'll be out in a moment, okay?"

She hung to the back during the ceremony until Kayla grabbed her arm.

"Kates - " Kayla's face was streaked with tears, and Katie hugged her tightly.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, but the words were hollow.

Pollux, left without his brother. The Apollo cabin, left without their much-loved counselor. On and on - too many families broken, too many close friends lost.

Katie closed her eyes, quickly wiping away the tears that leaked out.

"You're not going to say something?" Kayla whispered.

"I don't think I was meant to," she said quickly, quietly. Katie took a deep breath, not sure Kayla would understand.

But Kayla nodded and kept her arm around Katie's waist until the end of the ceremony.

As the shrouds were lit, Katie glanced over at the red-orange sky.

_Sunset. _

And then she couldn't take it and slipped away as the crowd slowly started separating one by one.

* * *

She considered not getting up. But when she couldn't sleep, there was only one place to go.

Katie climbed higher than she ever had before on the edge of the forest, feeling like a great weight was pressing down on her chest.

Between the leaves she saw the pinks and yellows of the sun coming up and had to stop.

Katie took a breath. Then another.

She watched the sun slowly rise. Playing over and over in her head - the conversation they'd had near here earlier in the summer.

And she argued with herself until the sun had come up.

* * *

Katie knocked and after a few seconds the door opened.

"Kayla?" She swallowed. "Can we…talk?"

Kayla opened the door even further and smiled sadly. "C'mon, Kates. You don't have to ask."

And later that day, she called an emergency ice cream meeting. Because for once she didn't have to do everything on her own.

* * *

Capture the Flag. Canoeing and climbing wall. Swordfighting and javelin throwing. Sitting in the strawberry fields. It was hard to explain what she was missing when everything seemed so normal.

Kayla asked her, just wondering, what she would've said at the ceremony. Katie said she'd think about it. She still wasn't sure. When a friendship is made up of silence just as much as words, it's hard to explain.

"I thought for sure he'd ask you out this summer. For real." Kayla squeezed Katie's hand and rested her head on her shoulder. "I really thought that you two – well…"

They'd splashed each other at the edge of the ocean. Kayla had tried to teach Katie how to play guitar. Katie had dragged Kayla out to water the strawberry plants. They had talked plenty, but this was the first time she'd said anything like that.

"I-"

The words died in Katie's throat.

* * *

Remembering hurt like hell. And she couldn't think of which details were the most important. It didn't make sense, it confounded her again and again how she could have been friends - best friends, morethanfriends - with Lee Fletcher and not know what she would've said at his funeral.

"He was brave," everyone said. Yes, brave enough to risk the wrath of a twelve-year-old unclaimed demigod he just happened to run into, simply for the sake of trying to help. Brave enough to chase her down when she went off to sit by herself, in that dark and lonely place in her mind. Brave, but reckless – the _idiot. _Selfless. Teasing. Optimistic. Clever. Open-minded.

Gods, she didn't know.

And then she decided she didn't need to know. She didn't need to find the words to explain why they were friends, why she nearly locked herself in the cabin for an afternoon after the battle.

She could just go out at sunrise and look up.


End file.
